The next important element of life is “Relationship”. Humans are a social being and that is why it is very important for us to have a good relationship with each other in society. It can be with your spouse, with your children, with your parents, with your friend, with your neighbor or most importantly with yourself. Experiments have proved it again and again that socializing is a survival need for humans. When it is so important, then we must learn about it. There are nearly 8 billion people in the world, yet I have heard from people that they feel lonely. I have no second thoughts to come to the conclusion that these people need social skills to maintain a good relationship with other people. The good news in that it is learnable.
In his fantastic book “How to win friends and influence people”, Dale Carnegie has explained it very simply in three section as below.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
I am certain that following these simple guidelines can change your life. If you still struggle to maintain a good relationship with your other people then you might need help to do so because we have to understand that it not always us.
Human is a very complex creature and dealing with human need special education and skills. In all, the relationship with their spouse is the most difficult one.
Although we can talk about it in detail for days, there are five basic principles each relation must have.
- Respect in every situation. Doesn’t matter what situation.
- Unconditional Love and no comparison.
- A common goal.
- Freedom to make choices.
- Forgive as quickly as possible.
It needs training to our mind to reach a level where we feel our life is in our control. To achieve it, the first thing you must do is love yourself. Yes, love yourself. You never notice it, but you forget to love yourself. When it is last time you said I love you to the person you see in your mirror. All you do is judge yourself based on your clothes, your body shape, your hairstyle or what others will think about you. When you can not give love to yourself, you can not give love to anybody else. You must put aside all these judgments and just love yourself. You must love yourself with all your heart, with what you are and with you have. When you love yourself, you become free. You are not looking for love from someone else. Now you can love others. You are not needy of love. At this stage, you will have no problem to apply these principles I have mentioned above and you will experience true love. You will find it within yourself in abundance.
If you think you are struggling with this and you think you might use some help, please contact here for guidance on relationship.
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